Guest blog by solo parenthood coach, Mel Johnson – The Stork & I
At Manchester Fertility, we are committed to supporting individuals on their unique paths to parenthood. We are delighted to introduce a guest blog from Mel Johnson, founder of The Stork & I and a dedicated solo parenthood coach. Mel's personal journey with Manchester Fertility, combined with her extensive experience coaching over 1,000 individuals considering solo parenthood through donor conception, provides many invaluable insights.
In this blog, Mel addresses and debunks some of the most common stereotypes surrounding solo parenting, helping to illuminate the realities and rewards of this path. We hope her perspective will inspire and empower those considering or currently navigating the solo parenthood journey.
As a solo parent of a 6-year-old, I have firsthand experience with the common misconceptions surrounding solo parenthood through donor conception. Having personally navigated this journey in addition to coaching over 1000 individuals considering this path to parenthood, I am dedicated to presenting a more balanced perspective on the realities of solo parenting.
Together, let's explore and challenge some of these stereotypes to uncover the true experiences of many solo mums.
Myth 1: Solo Parents Will Be Lonely
We grew up in a society that prioritises romantic relationships over all other forms of love. The idea of "happily ever after" is consistently depicted as finding a partner, getting married, and having children together. It's no wonder that concerns arise about loneliness if we haven't met a suitable partner and choose to parent solo.
Contrary to popular belief, many solo mums establish robust support networks through friends, family, other parents, and communities. While the journey may begin without a romantic partner, it doesn't mean we will be parenting alone. Solo mums often build strong, supportive communities, connecting with other solo parents who share similar experiences.
Myth 2: Children of Solo Parents are Negatively Impacted
One of the greatest concerns for many considering solo parenthood is that our children will be negatively impacted by our decision to use donor conception to conceive. We worry that they will be impacted by not having a father in their lives as they grow up.
However, one of the largest studies on this topic, conducted by Professor Susan Golombok, shows that children of solo parents can thrive just as well with the love, support, and stability provided by a solo parent. Her research indicates that the quality of parenting and a loving and nurturing environment matters more than the number or gender of the parents. You can explore her findings in her book, "We Are Family."
Additionally, you can hear directly from donor-conceived individuals in The Stork and I Podcast. Series 5 features a range of interviews with donor-conceived people raised by solo parents, who share their lived experiences of being raised in a solo parent family.
Myth 3: Solo Parents Will Find Everything Harder
When we share our decision to become a solo parent, we often receive responses from those who have parented in a partnership, expressing concern about how difficult it will be to parent alone. Many of us worry about our ability to cope.
However, this comparison isn't entirely fair. While being a new parent can be challenging, doing it without a partner doesn't automatically make it harder. Some aspects can even be easier. It's just different.
Solo parenthood can be incredibly empowering. Solo mums make all the decisions without negotiation or compromise. Parenting solo means we often form an incredible bond and connection with our child as they are our main focus.
Solo parents typically develop resilience and adaptability, learning to navigate challenges with resourcefulness and strength, often surrounded by a supportive network of people.
Myth 4: Becoming a Solo Parent Means You are Destined to Be Single Forever
Often, we worry that choosing to become a solo parent means committing to a life of being single, making it even harder to meet a partner in the future.
Firstly, this is absolutely not true. There are many examples of solo parents who have gone on to meet new partners in a variety of different circumstances.
Secondly, for many, what once seemed of utmost importance becomes less significant once our child arrives, as finding a partner no longer feels like a priority.
Conclusion
Solo parenthood is a fulfilling and viable way to create a family. Like all parenting, it can have its challenges, but by dispelling common myths and stereotypes, we can empower solo moms on their journey and support them to thrive.
If you are thinking of starting your solo parenthood journey, contact Manchester Fertility by phone at 0161 300 2737 or Get Started online today. Throughout your journey you will have the team’s full support and guidance.
If you want more insights and support on solo parenthood, explore The Stork and I other blog posts. For support on the decision to become a solo parent or any element of solo parenting, check out Mel’s coaching options from The Solo Parenthood Coach.
Last updated: 5th July 2024
